A mother is born

I brought Adiv in this world kicking (not really) screaming, and holding on to Ro's hand begging him to take me home. None of the breathing techniques learnt previously at the maternity studio seemed to help. Ro's gentle reminders about breathing during a contraction merely caused irritation. Eventually the pains got worse, the intervals shorter, and the screams louder. The girl behind the partition delivered minutes before I did, after a series of orgasmic moans that didn't seem very amusing then. Her tiny baby(whom she named Princess) arrived to the sound of my screaming as well, before Adiv decided to make an appearance. When he did, the mood transformed completely. Suddenly there was an air of jubilation in the labor room. Ro and I were smiling, and the team of doctors and nurses were relieved the screaming had ended.

"It's a HE", said the gentle doctor, while I stared at the baby.

"You can touch him", she said, because I seemed unsure about touching the delicate one. I touched him with a finger, smiled, and turned to a beaming Ro saying, "I told you it was going to be a boy."

Almost immediately, the baby was taken to the pediatrician, who Ro thought was the "baby cleaner". After Adiv was cleaned up, he was brought to me once more, so I could whisper "baby tuttooos" into his teeny ears. For a second, he stopped crying, and that moment made up for all the pain i'd endured. It was a special moment, and I was glad that Ro was there to share it with me.

A mother was born that day, though not a particularly skilled one. I had to learn to carry the little one, feed him, change him, and comfort him. And when he was shifted to the neonatal ICU with jaundice, I wept (infact I wept every time he wept). Finally I was spending hours in the ICU. Every time I was called to feed him, I'd also sit around to burp him, talk to him, and put him to sleep, before being driven away by the nurses. Ro didn't get as much time with him, but a kind malayalee nurse did sneak him into our room a few times so Ro could hold him as well.

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A lot has happened since then. Both Ro and I are getting better at our parenting roles, and Adiv is now a 50-day-old responsive baby who is curious about the world around him. He is a chatty baby who loves his play gym, but hates it when his soiled diaper isn't changed immediately. He loves being carried from room to room, so he can look at the pictures and shadows on the wall, the curtains against the window, and the moving leaves outside the window. When left alone, he'll even engage in a conversation with his toy cow, chicken, and pig that hang from his baby cot. He likes his duck rattle as well, but from a distance. Bring it too close and he is scared.

I've also changed quite a bit in the last 50 days. I'm more comfortable as a mother, but just as paranoid. I make frequent trips to the pediatrician with doubts about what is normal for a baby. When I'm not at the clinic, i call her on her mobile. Fortunately, she comes armed with oodles of patience, and since I'm a regular at her clinic, she's even stopped charging me now.

Anyway, both Adiv and I are well, and Ro makes a wonderful dad. In short, life is good!