Nanny Watch

Even though it was an offer I couldn't refuse, I had to do a lot of thinking before accepting. As the mother of a 6-month-old, I was quite clear about what my priorities were. I wanted to be around for my baby, meeting all his emotional, physical, and intellectual needs. However, when I was given the option of working from home, the family urged me to think again.
"You will feel good about yourself", said Mom gently.
"You won't get this opportunity again", said Dad more firmly.
"By the time Adiv grows up, it might be too late to start again", said Ro kindly.

I wept, reminded them of the time when Adiv was crying and I was on the phone discussing the offer. I said emphatically, "I don't want him to suffer."
Then Ro and I began discussing the possibility of hiring a Nanny. Initially, I wasn't too kicked about the idea, because I didn't really know if anyone else could do a good job taking care of him. Ialso didn't want to share Adiv with a random stranger. Anyway,I gave in eventually!

The Nanny came via an agency. As my parents were in Bangalore for a week, my mom had the responsibility of training her. As with most nannies, this one came armed with credentials and experience. I wasnt impressed, the mother rarely is. "I've taken care of many babies. I know exactly what to do", she said, wearing a big smile on her face.
Anyway, her day eventually began with the mother hen clucking around her nervously. Adiv took to her immediately, and that eased my tension. In her early 30s, the nanny wore bright colors and some shiny gold-plated jewellery. He was loved this jazzy woman with the loud, high-pitched voice.
"Enna baby", she said and picked him up immediately. After that, she didn't say much.
Limiting herself to the confines of our pool-facing balcony, she walked up and down.

"Talk to him", I said.
She smiled.
Then she wandered out of the bedroom and walked to the kitchen. The top-worker cum cook was only too pleased to see someone she could talk to. With Adiv in her arms, the nanny spoke to the maid in whispered tones.
I was livid.

"No taking him to the kitchen. It isn't safe, and I don't want him growing up between two servants", I said firmly.
"Sorry Madam!"
"Play with him. Talk to him. Don't just walk around quietly."
"No madam. He is only 6 months old. No use talking to him. He probably won't understand anyway."
"I've been talking to him from day one. He responds. So talk to him. Sing to him. Show him his toys and books."
"Okay Madam."

After another hour of working, I decided to peek again. I could hear her talking loudly, but I wasn't sure if it was for my benefit.
She was standing by the bed, talking loudly to noone in particular. Adiv was on the bed, with his cloth book in his mouth.
"Talk to him", I urged again. "What do you think you are doing?"
"Okay Madam."

Eventually Adiv got bored with her. The whining graduated into loud sobs.
"Why is he crying?"
"Maybe he is hungry."
Picking him up, I told her where his flask was, and how the bottles had to be handled.
"I know Madam", she said placing the bottle teat on counter.
"That has been sterilized. Why are you putting it there?"
"Sorry Madam."

When Adiv drinks his milk, he likes to hold on to something. That day he was holding his favorite rattle.
"No No No" she said, snatching away the rattle from him. After a few seconds of looking rather shocked, Adiv screamed and cried.
"Let him hold it if he wants to", I said irritably.
"Okay Madam"
Adiv was too irritated to care. By then he didn't want the rattle or his milk.

"I'll put him to sleep now", she said picking him up.
She sat down, forced his head on her lap and rocked him violently.
"DONT", I screamed. "He doesn't like it like that."
I picked him up and took him to my parents who were quite fed up by then. I then told her she could wash and iron his clothes. She did that quite well. When she was done, I told her to sit with him on his mat.
Adiv likes to crawl, and we always put him down in longs, so he can explore. He even likes holding on to things to stand up. So someone needs to watch him constantly. If not he'll either put something into his mouth, or bang his head against tables.

"Let him crawl, but just watch him", i said going back to my laptop.
I sat down for a minute, and I could hear Adiv crying again. She wasn't letting him crawl. She was holding him with both her hands and restricting his movement.
"Let him go", i said.
"Okay."
She let him go, but began following him very very closely. He was irritated.
"Give him some space."
"Yes Madam."

Bath time was no less traumatic. She held him upright with one hand, soaped him and pour water over his face. He was horrified.
"Lay him down and be careful. He doesn't like water on his face."
I'd given her a demo the day before, she seemed to be doing her own thing.
"I've bathed many babies. I know how to do it."
"Leave your experience outside. I don't want you to spoil his bathtime for him. He usually enjoys his bath."
After this much crying, Adiv was tired. I quickly wiped him, put him in comfortable clothes and told her to put him to sleep gently. She rocked him gently, but instead of singing to him, she chose the horrifying option of screaming, "Bah Bah Bah Bah."
Adiv was crying again and I was tearing out my hair.
"Leave him alone. Don't you know any songs?"
"Okay Madam."

After her first day, I was begining to wonder if working had been a good idea. Anyway, we had a chat with her. She was being paid to keep him happy, so she had to do what we wanted her to do. She agreed, because she wanted to stay on. I decided to give her another chance, because I realized she needed some time as well to get to know Adiv. Three days later, things are gradually improving. Adiv seems happier, and she is making more of an effort of playing with him. I'm however continuing to keep a close watch.